Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The police scanner is talking about you again....
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
