So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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