thus making me awesome and them whores
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize