When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
