I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
