She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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