I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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