im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
this hospital has no fireball
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
