just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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