I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
