Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
