exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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