I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
