i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
