Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
