Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
