I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
