You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
