why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
