he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
