Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize