Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
