We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize