In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
