My Higher Power is John Stamos
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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