I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
