How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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