I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i've created a new STD.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
