sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
