I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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