I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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