how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
