im drinking this country out of the recession.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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