Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
