found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
