Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
