but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize
