yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize