i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
