Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I would ride that face into the sunset
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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