This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's shark week go big or go home
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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