so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
