By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
