Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
A bitchslap is in order.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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