I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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