hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
