There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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