I CAN MOONWALK!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
