Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize