Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
