Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just high enough for therapy.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize