OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
