belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
