They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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