butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
