I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
