I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
