He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My vagina is very pro this idea
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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