my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
