atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I think people are normalizing furries
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
