I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just had sex on a roof
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
