drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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