It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
