He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
