You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize