She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
