Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
do herpes really smell.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
