Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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