I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You can't just leave with hair like that
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize