Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Still dying that you shit outside
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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